"Ni impedo" means, "not even if I was extremely drunk." Imagine your friend asks if you want to go on a date with somebody that you find very un attrictive. You might say "Ni impedo"!
This roughly translates to: "I was hit by a Scania 360 (cargo truck model)". Use this for if you're really hungover, and can't make it somewhere. Sort of like, "Ugh, I feel like I was hit by a freight train.".
Paraguayans like to mix the Guarani language in with their spanish, and here's a phrase to describe a friend who steals your girlfriend. You'll definitely get a laugh out of a group of locals if you use this right.
Paraguay's bipolar weather can cause significant flooding in the streets. This phrase effectively means, I ran into a flood. This is an excuse locals use if they're late to something on a rainy day.
Feeling Patriotic? Watching Paraguay play in the world cup? This means The Paraguayan people will conquer, or die trying.
Dropped something, crashed your car, here's an exclamation for shit. Another Guarani word that's mixed in with Paraguayan Spanish.
This is another Guarani curse word that you should never use with strangers. The "J" is pronounced more like a "y". It's sort of like verbally giving somebody the middle finger. Very aggressive to use in a formal setting, but okay with friends. For example, two friends might say: "Hey can you pay the bill for dinner?. No, japiro, I didn't eat anything".